Hangers could have saved my marriage

My marriage ended three years ago. When people ask, "Why did you guys break up?" I have a hard time answering. I really don't know, it just seemed that everything was hard. We argued, squabbled, fought and couldn't seem to agree on anything. My ex can tell you why we split up.

He recently told someone it was because I quit doing laundry and I know he really thinks that is the reason. He's not wrong. I do remember one night in frustration throwing my hands in the air and shouting, "That's it! I quit doing laundry!"

I know my friend, Lisa loves doing laundry. She finds it soothing and rewarding, but I on the other hand never could get it all done and if I did manage to wash and dry everything there were still baskets all over the house and piles of clean laundry sitting on dressers that were already crammed full and overflowing.

I get frustrated now thinking about my laundry failures. I tried to sort clothes and donate whatever was too small or dated, but I still never seemed to be able to solve my laundry dilemma until now three years later.

I recently moved into a new house with a similar layout to my old house and was starting to worry about my laundry issues when I decided to go to the store and buy a few more hangers. I bought 20 and started to hang up my clothes as they came out of the dryer. In the past I would fold everything when I had time, or worse crumple the clean clothes into the laundry basket and haul it upstairs for folding at a later date. I soon realized that 20 new hangers weren't enough, so I purchased 20 more. Still not enough, so yesterday I went out and bought 90 more hangers. I finished every load of laundry, hung everything up and have only about 15 hangers left over.


What a revelation. For my entire married life I was about 125 hangers short! No wonder I could never master the task of laundry. I didn't have the right tools. A simple solution for a very complicated problem. I was so absorbed with the big picture I wasn't able to see that by spending less than $50 dollars I could have saved myself many fights with my husband.I wonder how many other arguments could be avoided with couples that can't cope only because they are missing a few essential tools?? I want to know what couples are fighting about...maybe there is an easy solution and extra hangers can't hurt

Be interested - Not interesting

This is the best advice I ever heard. Think about it! We are so often wanting to impress people that while they are talking to us we are thinking about what we want to tell them about ourselves. We don't care what they are telling us and we keep thinking hurry up and finish your story cause I have something really important to say, or worse we can't wait any longer, so we interrupt them mid-sentence because we have something we deem valuable to contribute to their conversation.Most people could improve their active listening skills.

What is Active Listening?Active, effective listening is a habit,as well as the foundation of effective communication. Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are listening to, whether in a group or one-on-one, in order to understand what he or she is saying. As the listener, you should then be able to repeat back in your own words what they have said to their satisfaction. This does not mean you agree with, but rather understand, what they are saying. http://www.studygs.net/listening.htmI

know that I have been trying to work on my active listening skills and sometimes it's really hard when I don't want to forget what I want to say. I have this little trick that I use when someone is talking to me and I think of something I want to say. I just close my first and stick out my thumb. This is a subtle reminder to myself to hold that thought and allow me to keep listening to my companion. There is a downside cause sometimes the person you are having the conversation with just never stops talking and no matter what you can't get a word in!

If you feel you have been an active listener and want a chance to speak up then wait for your companion to take a breath, say something indicating you have heard what they just finished saying and then say that reminds me...and begin your story!I

f anyone has any other suggestions for stopping the narcissistic talker, I am all ears!!